Marta's Story

I’d always felt stressed when taking exams at school, but nothing quite like how I felt in my final year of university. I really struggled to stay on top of my studies, especially as my dad was terminally ill. I was really worried about money too, and found it so hard to juggle a part time job and my degree. All of my friends seemed to manage. They were loving student life and I felt like I couldn’t admit that I was finding it hard. The need to please everyone around me came before my own wellbeing and my mental health suffered as a result. 

My symptoms

I couldn’t seem to switch off or relax. After doing a late shift at my job, I’d go home and work on my uni projects – although I never seemed to get everything done. I wasn’t eating or sleeping properly either. I’d lie awake thinking about how much I had to do and dreading the next day. I also started hanging out with more people who did drugs. I think I was looking for an escape, but this all made me feel worse. I felt like a failure all the time, because I knew I wasn’t coping, but had to hide it from everyone. 

My lowest moment 

I think it all came to a head when I went home to visit my dad one weekend instead of working on an assignment and missed one of my uni deadlines. I broke down in tears. My lecturer was really understanding and told me I should have talked about how I felt sooner. She encouraged me to go see my GP. I realised after that, I couldn’t continue what I was doing and needed to put my happiness first.

My way forward 

I had a realisation that it’s okay not to be okay, and to share how I feel with those around me. Cognitive behavioural therapy was helpful and I think everyone should do it because it’s an opportunity to sense check how you think and see things in a more balanced way. Everything else has been self-management really, through mindfulness, changing my lifestyle, practicing yoga and meditation. This all helps me manage stress day to day. 

Why I’m sharing my story 

To show that stress feels awful and lonely, but it can be managed and reduced with the right people around you.